A TURTLE THE SIZE OF A GRAPE LOOK AT IT!!!!

When I'm done willing myself to die post-19th Century British Novel final, I promise I will pontificate on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Or whatever. But right now, all you need from me is this:

I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, that's a picture of a turtle the size of a grape. You're welcome, world.