Friday, July 29, 2011

If I Can Make it There, I'll Make it Anywhere

After a brief, blessed stint as a fully-employed person, I will soon return to the land of the food stamp-eligible, which means I'll probably have more time to blog. True, it would be nicer to have less time to blog and more time to drum up some rent money, but hey, man, beggars can't be choosers. Though we can be bloggers.

And now, for a moment of seriousness.

I've been back in New York for two months now, shuffling from Brooklyn to Manhattan and back day after day. I've sent out job applications, though certainly not enough, signed up for unpaid/low-paid freelance gigs, and fact-checked countless magazine articles. I'm not really any closer to finding a job, but maybe some of that is because I'm still not even sure about what kind of job I want to get.

New York is the kind of place that beats the hell out of you and doesn't have any interest in letting you fight back, a quality I vaguely recognized growing up here. There's always someone better, brighter, prettier, more accomplished, more connected, and more talented than you are, digging their heels into your toes and reminding you that you really aren't anything special. I've been told time and again that I need to develop more of an ego, but sometimes I feel like it's better to be here without one. It's hard to survive if you're interested in going with the flow, because the flow in New York is more like a tsunami.

There's really nothing to do but latch on and hold tight. It's an adventure for sure, but an exhausting one nonetheless.

I miss Baltimore.

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