I brought out the English minor in me the other day when I procrastinated doing a homework assignment by reading Frank O'Hara poems online.

"After the first glass of vodka
you can accept just about anything
of life even your own mysteriousness
you think it is nice that a box
of matches is purple and brown and is called La Petite and comes from Sweden
for they are words that you know and that is all you know words not their feelings or what they mean and you write because you know them not because you understand them because you don't you are stupid and lazy and will never be great but you do what you know because what else is there?"

Thanks, Frank. You always know what to say.

Is it Too Late to Ask for My Tuition Back?

According to this illustrious piece of journalism, there will be about one million new openings for "middle-skill" jobs by 2018. Middle-skill, according to the article, means no college degree. Dental hygienists, who apparently fall into this middle-skill spectrum, will be expected to make median annual earnings of $65,160.

My expected median annual earnings next year, by the way, are approximately $0.

But it's okay, guys. I got to spend four years learning how to critically analyze three passages about artwork in Jane Eyre. There's no price on that kind of knowledge.

(Photo stolen from allhealthcaremonster.com)

Bolt Bus Fail Blog

This probably has more to do with utter failure than simple mediocrity, but a few days ago, a bunch-O news sites mentioned that a Bolt Bus driver got pulled over for drunk driving en route to Baltimore from New York. More importantly, über-hip writer/purveyor of mediocrity Tao Lin happened to be on board this particular bus, keeping his concerned Twitter followers calm and updated in 140 characters or less. Quelle disastro! Luckily, everyone is safe and sound, and we can expect more novellas name dropping American Apparel in the future.

In other news, it turns out I can't get a Mark Zuckerberg action figure after all. O, cruel world.

Photo of Tao Lin courtesy of thegothamist.com, though I should mention they don't know I took it.